It’s so easy to say yes and then regret it later. It’s so easy to feel like you don’t have a choice, or that your time is not your own.
But the only person who is in charge of your schedule is you.
Our schedules and the way we spend our time should reflect our priorities. But so many times, at least in my own life, it doesn’t. It reflects other people’s priorities, other people’s values and other people’s emergencies.
Recently, I’ve been taking a hard look at my time and what I do with it. Maybe it is because my oldest son is heading toward the end of his junior year of high school. Suddenly, college looms and sending him off into the world is not just something in the distant future but a reality that will be here sooner than I am ready.
It makes me stop and take stock. So many things I meant to do as a parent, I never got around to because I was busy. This is not a post about self-bashing or shaming myself for not being the perfect parent. So far, I have yet to meet a perfect parent, and I’m pretty aware of my shortcomings and how God has filled the gaps (lots of gaps) for me.
But it does make me stop and think. In 5 short years, I will be in a completely different season of life. My kids will be 18 and 21. While they will probably come back to the nest for visits and summers, the reality is at that point they will have, in all the ways that matter, become independent.
For the past 16 years, I’ve been a hands on, in the trenches mom. In 5 short years that will completely change. I’ll always be their mom, but my role will be to take my hands off and let them fly – a flight based on the patterns they were taught during those years in the trenches.
It makes me aware, as never before, of the passing of each hour, each moment. What am I doing with those moments? Am I making the hours count? Or am I wasting them?
“There be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time because the days are evil. So then do not be foolish but understand what the will of the Lord is.
~Eph. 5:15-17
My word for last year was “Wholehearted.” This year, my word is “Carla,” and her name reminds me we are not promised a certain amount of time. We only have this moment, this hour, this day.
I guess that is what I am asking myself some hard questions these days. Does my schedule and my time reflect that I am wholehearted in my obedience and surrender to God, or does it reflect a sort of halfhearted apathy? Am I looking and listening for God’s direction, and then actually doing it? Or am I putting it off until tomorrow?
Recently, two quotes in two different posts, really hit me between the eyes. The first one was in a post by Jeff Goins that you can read here where he quoted Lysa Terkeurst. The second was a post by Leigh Ann over at Intentional by Grace. You can read that one here. As I look at the remainder of this year, of the many pulls on my time, it reminds me to live my priorities rather than my emergencies.
“The decisions you make determine the schedule you keep. The schedule you keep determines the life you live. And how you live your life determines how you spend your soul.” ~ Lysa Terkeurst
“There’s never a good time to pursue your dreams. There’s always a really good reason to wait. But at some point, even if you don’t have all the answers, you have to choose God’s best for you.” ~ Leigh Ann Dutton
So, how are you spending your soul?
Blessings, Rosanne