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Good Doesn’t Mean Easy

When I got home from the hospital with my husband at the end of February, I thought all the hard stuff was behind us – at least for a while. I was ready to kick up my feet and bask in the fact that the long slog was over.

It wouldn’t be the first time I was wrong.

In my last blog post, I shared how 2019 was a tough year for me. At the time I wrote that I could look back and see all the ways God had shown up and provided and taken care of me and my family.

At the time, I wrote that post, I thought I had learned what God wanted to show me.

I was wrong again – sort of.

See, there were things God needed me to learn in that hard season so I could get through this season right now. When I was walking through last year, I had no idea that 2020 would see a global pandemic wash over the world like a tidal wave.

That’s the kind of thing that only happened in movies or those dystopian novels I sometimes enjoy reading.

But God knew. 

And He works all things for our good.

The mistake I often make though is equating good with easy.

I’m not sure why I do this since most things that are good aren’t usually easy. I mean, most of the important things in my life weren’t a piece of cake.

Parenting? Good but hard.

Marriage? Good but hard.

Ministry? Good but hard.

Writing? Good but hard.

I’m not sure why I thought what God was doing for my good would be easy either.

Thankfully, God knew what I needed before I ever heard of COVID-19. Last year, He taught me three important things that are helping me walk through this season.

The first thing God taught me was that He provides and He doesn’t need my help to do it. This is a lesson He’s been trying to teach me for many years, but last year I finally got it.

Not only did my son get to go to the Christian college of his choice, but I still don’t really know where all the scholarships came from. None of the ways I thought God would provide ended up being how He did it.

Not only were we sending a kid to college, but we had a mountain of medical bills. God miraculously provided the funds for the bills we already had, and the ones I didn’t even know were coming. Again, He did it in a way I didn’t see coming. AT ALL!

The second thing God taught me was that He is at work behind the scenes before I even know there IS a need. This has a lot to do with thinking I am in control when I never really am. When I was really little, my grandpa used to let me sit on his lap and “steer” the car. (No hate mail – this was in the 70s and people didn’t even wear seat belts, nevermind kids in car seats after babyhood). I thought I was in control, but of course, I wasn’t. Thinking I’m in control now is kind of like that. I might have my hands on the wheel, but His hands are really steering the car.

Third, God taught me that death isn’t something to be feared. When I found out about my heart condition last summer, there was a very real possibility that I had a very limited life span (as in a 5-year plan would be a waste of time for me, kind of life span).

This made me take a hard look at what I truly believed about heaven and where I would spend eternity. Did I really believe that I was going to a better place or were those just words?

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I’m hoping to die anytime soon, and I am thankful for a good prognosis and a more normal lifespan. There are still plenty of things I’d like to do in this life, but my perspective has changed. My grip on this earthly life has loosened.

I’d love to say I haven’t had a moment of worry or anxiety during this whole thing, but I would be lying. Sometimes, having a vivid imagination is not a blessing.

But what I can tell you is that if I hadn’t gone through the hard stuff last year, my fear and anxiety and general freak out would have been a daily, even hourly thing for me.

I certainly don’t want to act like any of this is easy, especially if you or a loved one has contracted the virus or works on the front lines in all this. But I do want to encourage you that God is working even a pandemic for your good – even if it doesn’t feel like it. Maybe especially if it doesn’t feel like it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Joy of the Unexpected

I have a confession to make.

Every time I get the mail, I feel a small fizz of excitement. There always seems to be such possibility in that small metal box.

Oh, I know in my head that all I will find will probably be bills or junk mail or, on a particularly good day, one of my favorite magazines or something I’ve ordered online. Once in a while, a card or letter will pop up that I wasn’t expecting.

Today, I went to the mailbox and found, not one but two, surprises waiting for me.

One was a small packet of pictures from my Aunt Kitty (well, she’s actually my mom’s cousin, but I’ve always called her aunt).

I was tickled to see pictures of my grandparents and a host of other relatives when they were young. Almost all of them have passed on, so it was particularly sweet to see them again, smiling and young. (This was more poignant than usual as three people have died this past week). There was even this picture of my grandma, great-aunt and great -uncle at the pool in their bathing suits. I didn’t even know they ever owned bathing suits.

The other package was from one of my best and oldest friends (years we’ve known each other, not her actual age). It held a magazine and a clipped article, along with a note explaining both. My friend’s notes are always the best – quirky and interesting with a dash of humor.

The thing is, finding a fun surprise (or two) in my mailbox isn’t something that happens too often. The last one I remember came back in February. My chiropractor sent an article he had cut out and laminated of my son and husband reaching basketball milestones during the same game. I was so touched by his thoughtfulness.

But before that, it had been a long time. Snail mail isn’t really something people do too much of these days.

And I kind of think that is a shame.

It’s interesting that today I plan on sitting down to look at the second quarter of the year – April, May and June – and kind of plan out what I want to get accomplished. I am not a naturally organized person. However, I’ve learned that as a natural fritterer (I can seriously waste hours and whole days very easily), I need a kind of map for my days and weeks and months. If I’m not sure what to do next, I tend to do nothing.

This is one of those serendipitous moments that God is so good at orchestrating. One thing I wanted to do this year was to intentionally encourage others. While I’ve sent out a few cards, I really haven’t done that great of a job this first quarter of the year. Life has been a bit crazy (as in I’ve been out of town more in the past couple months than I have in the past couple years!!).

Today, God reminded me of that intention in a very tangible way – with my own encouragement in my mailbox.

So, here goes Operation Mailbox Surprise! I’m still mulling over what this looks like because realistically, the next few months will be extremely busy. But, I still think I can figure out a way to make people smile when they open their mailboxes!

Stay tuned (maybe I’ll record it on Instagram since I’m trying to learn that social media platform).

5 Minute Friday – DIFFERENT

Today is 5 Minute Friday. It’s been a while since I participated in this link up, but if you don’t know, 5 Minute Fridays are when writers (mostly women) from around the globe all write about one word for 5 minutes, no editing, no second-guessing, just publishing. You can check it out HERE.

This week’s word is DIFFERENT

The new year, 2018, looms right around the corner. For many of us, that means looking at our goals and dreams for the next 12 months, looking at the ways next year will be different. Whether you go all out with colored markers and a special planner (I use Powersheets), or if you just use a plan piece of paper in a $1 notebook, looking at the ways you are going to make 2018 different is exciting and fun.

But for some people, the ways 2018 will be different aren’t fun or exciting. They are just sad and hard and frightening.

In September, my dad passed away after a 4 year fight with cancer. His birthday was on Christmas Eve. This year, everything will be different.

For my mom, 2018 will be nothing like years past. Not only did she lose my dad, but the couple my parents spent the most time with, both of them have passed away. What was once a happy foursome is now down to one person- my mom. This year, everything will be different. 

A church friend lost twins at 23 weeks. Her plans and dreams for 2018 don’t exist anymore.  This year, everything will be different than what she thought it would be. 

Another woman in our church lost her 2 year old grandchild, after that child had been put on hospice, survived and had a liver transplant. She and her family’s year will be so different than what they had prepared for. 

One of my best friends experienced organ rejection this year – after 11 years of doing wonderfully. She is looking at a second lung transplant in 2018, while caring for her toddler son. I’m sure 2018 looks much different than what she thought it would be even six months ago. 

The year 2017 had a lot of really great things it. I could rattle off a list of blessings and beautiful things, but it also was a hard year. It was a year of saying goodbye to loved ones for so many people.

Yet, in our grief or disappointment over how different 2018 looks to what we had dreamed, our hope doesn’t have to be on what was or what we wish things could be. Our hope is firmly anchored in a God who is never different, who is never changing and always faithful.

This past year, this old song’s chorus has been ringing in my head and sprinkled throughout my prayer journal.

My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus blood and righteousness. I dare not trust the sweetest frame but wholly lean on Jesus name. On Christ the solid rock I stand. All other ground is sinking sand. All other ground is sinking sand.

5 Minute Friday: SUPPORT

It’s Friday which means it’s time for 5 Minute Friday! If you’ve never heard of 5 Minute Friday, that’s when women (and I suppose men, too, if they wanted to) from all over the globe write about one word for 5 minutes – no editing, no stopping, no hesitating – and hit publish. Want to join us? Visit HERE.

 

SUPPORT

 

It’s always so interesting to me how the word for 5 Minute Fridays always seems to dovetail with my life in some way. When I saw the word SUPPORT, I knew I was definitely going to find the 5 minutes to write about it today.

Just 10 days ago, my dad died. It wasn’t sudden, but it was. He had cancer and hadn’t been doing very well. But he had bounced back so many times, we kind of thought he would again. We certainly did not expect him to go into the hospital and on hospice on Saturday and be gone by Wednesday.

Through those days at the hospital, I got to watch the Church support one of its members. After the first day, my Dad went to sleep. He never woke up. So, my mom limited visitors.

That didn’t stop people from texting and calling, wanting to help in some way, asking if they could be the exception to the no visitors rule.

My mom’s pastor and his wife were up every single day. They were a constant presence of comfort and support. Friends came up, offering their presence and more tangible support like food or help running errands.

I got numerous texts and Facebook messages, offering help and support, too. One of my friends brought enough Lee’s chicken for the Duggars!

While it doesn’t erase our family’s loss, support makes that loss more bearable. It gives you the sense that even though you feel adrift on a sea of grief, you aren’t drifting all alone.

Watching the body of Christ as they came to the aid of a sister was a beautiful thing. Watching that just reaffirmed for me that God created us for fellowship. We aren’t meant to do this life alone. It’s just too hard.

 

What we have seen and heard we proclaim to you also, so that you too may have fellowship with us; and indeed our fellowship is with the Father, and with His Son Jesus Christ. ~ I John 1:3

Blessings, Rosanne

Five Minute Friday – COLLECT

I can’t believe it’s Friday again, can you? It’s amazing to me how the week just flies by lately. Since it is Friday, that means it is time for 5 Minute Friday. For those who don’t know, Five Minute Fridays are where women from all over the globe (literally!) write about one word for five minutes – no editing, no agonizing – just write and hit that publish button. If you want to read more, visit HERE.

 

The word this Friday is COLLECT

What do you collect? I collect stories. It doesn’t matter if they are stories in books or stories of real people. I guess that’s why I chose to major in journalism in college. It was that idea of collecting my own stories, that led me to start a blog in the first. place (back on blogspot). I went back and looked, and I published my very first post on Jan. 17, 2009. That was over 8 years ago!!! So, I’ve been collecting my stories for a really long time!

I started my blog as a way to share what God was teaching me, how He was moving in my life, and to remember the answers to prayer and His blessings. If I went back and read all of my blog posts, I’m sure I’d see this mosaic of God’s goodness and grace in the midst of the everyday mundane and the harder stuff, too.

The truth is, I’ve always been fascinated by people’s stories, and I guess that’s obvious because I can’t tell you how many times complete strangers have shared their stories with me. For instance, there was that time in a coffee shop where I was reading a book. Somebody I didn’t know came up and shared they had just started a band with several other people who suffered from serious mental illness like schizophrenia and bipolar disorder.

I find people and why they do what they do, to be infinitely fascinating. Looking back, this love of collecting stories isn’t all that unusual. Whenever I go out with my parents, they know the people who work in the restaurants they frequent. They ask about those people’s stories. I’m always a little surprised what people share with them (and me!)

In a culture that seems to isolate people more and more, I think people are desperate to share their stories, to be heard, even if the person listening is a complete stranger.

I collect stories and God has used that to help me really see people.

What do you collect?

Blessings, Rosanne

 

Christianity’s Not a Competition

You’ve Probably Never Heard of This Guy

If you know anything about church history, the name Charles Finney probably rings a bell. He was the most famous evangelist during the Second Great Awakening.

However, you’ve probably never heard of Daniel Nash because his name was never part of the headlines that included Charles Finney.

But Charles Finney would probably never have made any headlines without Daniel Nash. You see, Nash quit his pastorate at the age of 48 to intercede for Finney full time. Before Finney would go to a place to preach for revival, Nash had already been there. He would find two or three other intercessors and they would rent a room and start praying for revival.

When Finney started the public meetings, Nash was rarely in attendance. Instead, he could be found praying for the Holy Spirit to convict those in the crowd and bring them to salvation.

Christianity Isn’t a Competition But We Sometimes Treat It Like One

Although it’s not really talked about in Christian circles much, Nash’s response to Finney is unusual. Many times, instead of praying for and interceding for fellow laborers, there is a sense of competition.

Whose church had more attendees on Sunday morning?

Whose revival meetings had a greater number of responses?

Who was the better preacher or teacher?

Competition Between Believers Isn’t Something New

This morning I was reading in Mark 9. This is the passage where Jesus takes John, James and Peter up on the mountain and transfigures in front of them (terrifying them in the process). When they return from this amazing experience, they find the rest of the disciples arguing with some scribes and a crowd has gathered.

When Jesus asks what’s going on, a man tells him he brought his demon-possessed son, but Jesus’ disciples couldn’t cast it out. Of course, Jesus speaks and the demon leaves.

The disciples and Jesus leave the area. As they are walking, the disciples are in a huddle, talking intently with each other. When Jesus asks them what they are talking about, they clam up. Why? Because they are discussing who amongst them is the greatest.

The passage doesn’t explicitly say this, but knowing human nature and reading through to the end of the chapter, my guess is that there was some jealousy and competition going on among the disciples.

Jesus took three of them to see something amazing. The rest got left behind and then came up short in the whole casting out demons thing.

Everyone has a desire to feel special and chosen by someone.

Everyone wants to feel like they are in the inner circle.

Everyone wants to feel like they are, at the very least, not failing.

At least I do – please tell me I’m not alone in those feelings.

How Being Salty Figures Into It All

To be honest, in my first reading of chapter 9, I was a little confused about how it all worked together.  There is a lot going on and then the chapter ends with what appears to be these random teachings by Jesus. First, He talks about doing good in His name and then He talks about not being a stumbling block to children. Then He starts talking about cutting off your hands and feet or pulling out your eye if it causes you to stumble.

He winds it all up by talking about salt and being at peace. As I was reading this, I wondered what in the world salt had to do with being at peace with people. His last words in chapter 9 are, “Have salt in yourselves and be at peace with one another.”

As always, when I am confused I ask questions (my inner journalist coming out, I suppose – also, I’m nosey!). So, I asked God what in the world all this apparently random teaching meant, specifically in my own life.

I went back and looked the chapter over again, and then it hit me – Jesus was talking about serving Him how HE has called you to serve instead of comparing your role with others.

Believers are called to be salt to an unbelieving world. To us 21st century believers, that sounds a little weird right? I mean, salt is nice and all, but why not pepper or better yet, cinnamon? Well, salt in the ancient world was incredibly important.

It was used  in many cultures not just as a seasoning, but also as a preservative which was pretty important in an era without refrigeration! It was also used as a disinfectant, a component of ceremonial offerings, and often as a form of money.

Salt had great value.

Make Sure Your Own Saltshaker is Filled Up

Jesus was saying, in several different ways, make sure YOU are salty because when you are filled up with what God has for YOU, then it’s a whole lot easier to be at peace with other believers.

Being human, we can miss the whole point if we start getting all caught up in competing with other believers about our roles, or comparing our apparent importance in the Kingdom.

We can also seriously turn others off, with all that competition and rivalry, especially children who watch not just what we say but what we do.

And all that stuff about cutting off your foot or hand or plucking out your own eyeball (eww!!), in this area we are our own worst enemies, aren’t we. The thoughts we allow to take up inventory on the shelves of our minds directly relate to how we view the world and those around us (you can read more about our mind’s inventory HERE).

I closed my Bible and opened my Draw the Circle: 40 Day Prayer Challenge for the day’s reading. And low and behold, the author was talking about how he was convicted to pray for the churches right around his own, and to start viewing them as part of the same team – not his competition. That’s where I saw the story of Daniel Nash.

Isn’t it so cool how God ties everything together like that?

Our culture is so wrapped up in individual’s successes, and I believe that has bled into the Church. We aren’t in competition with each other. We are all working for the Kingdom, and another church’s or organization’s or teacher’s or pastor’s or even fellow church member’s spiritual success doesn’t take away from what God has for YOU to do.

God’s blessings and plans aren’t finite. They don’t run out – ever. 

Is there someone you have a hard time rejoicing for? Do ever find yourself comparing your own success or growth or spiritualness to others? I’d love to hear about it!

 

Five Minute Friday – STEADY

It’s been a little while since I’ve done 5 Minute Fridays, and I’ve missed them. If you are unaware, Five Minute Fridays are when women from all over the world write for 5 minutes on a single word. If you haven’t stop over and check it out HERE.

The word this week is STEADY.

The word steady has always been synonymous with the word reliable. Something that is steady is something I can trust.

My first instinct when I sat down to write about this word was to talk about the steadiness of God. After all, how many words that describe God represent the word steady: rock, strong tower, a large place.

And God has certainly been my steady place when times got rocky and things felt totally off balance – anything BUT steady. During those times, God has proven that He is more than reliable and faithful, and that He never leaves me or forsakes me.

But what He has been teaching me about lately is being a source of steadiness for others. When my brother died in 2015, God showed up in such a tender and personal way. He was the one thing I could cling to in those first dark days when I felt like nothing made sense and I felt like I was walking on jello.

One of the things I begged God to do was to bring good out of my brother’s death and to show that to me. God is so awesome because He answered my prayers, and one of the ways is that my own grieving process has completely changed how I view others losses and difficulties. It’s made me aware that as wonderful as God is in the midst of the storm, it’s also a good thing to offer a human hand to steady another.

It’s not that I didn’t care before, but I was busy. Aren’t we all? And I let that busyness push my good intentions out of sight and out of mind. After walking through my own loss, I can’t do that anymore.  I can’t NOT see.

God, in His great mercy, gave me His hand during my own storm, and now, He’s asking me to offer my hand to others who feel battered by their own storms – not to help in my own strength, but to be the one who guides that person’s hand into the Father’s, so they too can find shelter from their storms.

 

Surprising Lessons I Learned This Spring

Today, I am linking up over at Emily P. Freeman’s blog, Chatting at the Sky, to share what I’ve learned this spring. Stop over and see the lessons have sprouted! Or share your own lessons harvested during this last season. Looking back is a great way thing to practice before moving forward. You can share the silly, the serious or the just plain practical. All are welcome!

What I Learned

 

Prayer is vital.

I know, you are probably thinking, well, duh! I’ve always known prayer was important, but during this season, God has been planting the importance of prayer deep in my heart. Without prayer, I can’t fully walk as His daughter. And prayer takes time, time that is sometimes hard to carve out. But it is SO worth it!

Praying for Other is Hard Work

And the enemy will definitely try to distract you and keep you from this work. It’s interesting that as God has pressed the importance of prayer into my heart, I’ve become more and more aware of the needs of others. I’ve realized the importance of fighting for people’s hearts and minds on my knees and wielding God’s Word as my sword.

Anxiety and Worry Can Be Sneaky

In many ways, God has done an incredible work in me in regards to my tendency to get anxious and worried over things (there are downsides to an active imagination!). But, as I was praying about some things (see a pattern here?), God showed me that anxiety had crept into my perception of my calling to write. Instead of something joyful (because truly creating with words takes me to my happy place), there had crept in a sort of anxious burdensome feeling when I thought of my writing. Instead of a gift and privilege, it had started to feel (at least when I was thinking about it and not doing it) like a duty and heavy burden. I had become way more concerned with finding the time to write rather than just writing. Weird right? But the enemy will distract us any way that works!

My Son Can Sing

On a lighter note (see what I did there?), my son was one of the leads in the musical Hello, Dolly! this spring. While he sang around the house quite a bit and was on key and all that, I had no idea he could sing. I know he’s my kid and I might be a bit biased, but I was delightfully surprised by his portrayal of Horace Vandergelder.

I Enjoy the Arts So Much More than Sports

Which brings me to my next point…. I married the Coach 24 years ago, and my life started to revolve around the sporting seasons. Then I had 2 boys who were also sports junkies, and soon my entire life seemed to orbit around practice and game schedules. I have to be honest, I get super nervous before every single game. It’s like going into battle. I wonder if we’ll play well as a team. I wonder if my child will have a great night or if he’ll come home with a list of things he could have done better or shaking his head over a shot that just wouldn’t fall. Arts are not like that. Opening night of the play, I was simply excited. I went each night with a sense of delightful anticipation. I think I’ll be having a conversation with my future grandchildren, encouraging them to be in the arts, so grandma doesn’t have a heart attack!

It’s Much Better to Embrace a Busy Season

Spring is a busy time of year for us. There is the annual teen conference I speak at and the school play and all the end of year things like awards and banquets. Not to mention, there is baseball season, too. This year, I decided to just embrace the busyness and to stop feeling guilty that I couldn’t get more done. It made the spring much less stressful which just goes to show – much of the stress and pressure I experience is because of my own unrealistic expectations!

The Crock Pot Is My Friend

We have entered a new season this year with my oldest son attending college locally. Between his school and work schedule, and everyone else’s busy schedules, I have given up on making a dinner to serve at a specific time. Instead, I’ve turned to my crock pot. Not only do I not have to worry about preparing something at the dreaded dinner hour, but dinner is warm and ready for whoever happens to be coming into the kitchen for dinner! Add a crock pot liner and clean up is even easy! On a side note, New Leaf Wellness has some wonderful make ahead crock pot recipes. You just assemble them in large freezer bags, and then you can thaw them and pop them in your crock pot. SO EASY!!!!

So, there you have it, what I have learned this spring. What have you learned this past season? I’d love to hear about it!

How to Truly Celebrate Mother’s Day

Best Laid Plans

I had an entire blog post written out. It was all about how lately I’ve been feeling a tad underappreciated as a mom. It was about the need to ask for help and how important the word no is – even when that no is to your family. It was a pretty good post. I was all ready to do a little editing and then post it today.

But then I read this post from Kristen Welch from We Are That Family. She was guest posting on Ann Voskamp’s blog.

If you don’t know who Kristen Welch is, she founded and runs Mercy House, a maternity home in Kenya. Their website explains them this way. Mercy House exists to engage, empower and disciple women around the globe in Jesus’ name through partnerships and sustainable fair trade product development.

A New Perspective

Reading Kristen’s heartfelt words about a mom who lives in the worst slums in Kenya, I realized something. No matter what any of our Mother’s Days looked like, it was still miles better than about 75% of the world’s.

It’s hard to fathom the grinding poverty that exists elsewhere in the world.

It’s hard to understand the desperate and heartbreaking choices mothers around the world have to make just to keep their children alive.

It’s impossible to wrap our minds around handing our child over to forms of slavery just so they can have enough food to live.

Yet, this is how a huge percentage of the world’s women live their lives – in poverty, in fear, in desperation. 

How You Can Make a Difference

It’s overwhelming to think about, and yet, there are ways we can help.

Today is the She is Priceless campaign. There are 8 non-profit organizations, all designed to help the most vulnerable of women and children in some of the most difficult places in the world.

When I think of the mother Kristen writes about, who has had to allow her young teen daughter to sell her body to provide food and whose son is owned by a neighbor who works him night and day just for a small amount of sustenance, I’m ashamed. Ashamed that I was whining about feeling taken advantage of because I had to pick up extra socks. Ashamed that I complain about anything in my very blessed and abundant life.

So, are you ready to truly celebrate mothers?

5 Minute Friday: Should

Today, I’m back over at Kate Motaung’s blog, Heading Home for 5 Minute Fridays. If you are unfamiliar, 5 Minute Fridays are where women from all over write for 5 minutes on one word. No editing, no second -guessing – just writing for 5 minutes and hitting the publish button. You can come check it out HERE.

Today’s word is SHOULD


There are 5 words we all really need to strike from our thoughts and our vocabulary: if only, what if and should. These 5 words cover our past, our present and our futures.

If only looks back with regret at a past we can’t change.

What if looks ahead with fear to a future we don’t have much control over either.

And should, well, should can dominate our present to the extent that we end up living out everyone else’s agenda – if we let it. The problem with that is when we live by shoulds, we end up missing our musts.

Lately, God has been showing me that I have been so fixated on all the shoulds from what I should be doing to grow my online platforms to all my various commitments, that I haven’t actually been doing what He asked me to do.

While I’ve been running down rabbit trails, feeling frustrated at my lack of progress on what I’ve been called to do, God has been patiently waiting back on the path. He patiently repeats, “it’s this way,” every time I draw close to Him.

I guess I’m kind of a slow learner (or I’m just easily distracted), but this is not the first time God has pointed out that I’ve been way too taken up with everyone else’s shoulds, and missed out on His plan.

So, what should is keeping you from following where God is actually leading? I’d love to hear about it!

 

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