It’s been a few weeks since I’ve participated in 5 Minute Fridays since I was on vacation for a few weeks, but I’m so glad to be back. If you don’t know, 5 Minute Fridays is when women from across the country (and probably globe) write for five minutes on one word. We all link up over at Kate Motaung’s blog, Heading Home. Check it out HERE.

Today’s word is HELP.

I could talk about a lot of different things when it comes to the word help, but lately God has been teaching me something I didn’t actually want to learn.

Not everyone we want to help wants to be helped. I know – bummer isn’t it? It seems like your good intentions should be enough to help someone over the edge. Your desire to make it better or to give someone a hand up should be enough.

But the sad, hard truth is: you can’t help everyone. Some people will refuse your help, and when we insist on continuing to offer it, sometimes, I think it can be a pride thing.

It doesn’t feel good when someone throws your good intentions, your sincere care back in your face. It makes me feel kind of helpless (no pun intended!), and if I’m really honest, a bit angry. After all, here I am going out of my way for you and you aren’t even grateful for it.

And there’s the rub – when we desire to help others, I think it’s really important to identify our WHY in all of that because if we don’t, we can end up going down a rabbit hole of our own making.


Do we want to help out of guilt?

Do we want to help out of a sense of we should?

Do we want to help to make ourselves look better?

Do we want to help because by helping we give weight to a certain identity we want others to see in us or we want to see in ourselves?

Do we want to help because it someone how makes life more comfortable or at least less uncomfortable for us?

Here’s the thing – Jesus came to this world as the ultimate helper. And people reject His help, so why do I think my offers of help will be 100% successful?

God has to deal with a lot of rejection, and I’m sure He is looking at us wishing we’d accept His help instead of always trying to do everything ourselves, in our own strength.

At the end of the day, by faith I offer my help. In the same way, the outcome has to be left in God’s hands. Sometimes, trying harder isn’t actually what God wants from us. I don’t like to think of that as giving up but in giving over.

How about you? Have you had your help rejected? How did you handle that? I’d love to hear about it!

Blessings, Rosanne

2 Comments on 5 Minute Friday: HELP

  1. Good essay, Rosanne.

    I’ll try to shed some light from the ‘other side’, as to why I sometimes turn down help.

    I’m terminally ill (pancreatic cancer, so they say), and it’s taken a toll on my energy and strength. I used to maintain a high level of fitness because I was a security contractor; not possible now.

    My wife and I run a sanctuary for abandoned and abused dogs, and as I can no longer work, my responsibility is the ‘working week’ care of these guys. There is a protocol that works; it’s not efficient, but I can get them into the yard, and watered, and cared for (play-time!) until my wife comes home.

    Helpers usually screw this up. They see a ‘better way’, and while it may indeed be better, once they’re gone…I can’t do it. And dogs have a memory. They get used to a new regime, and it’s a few days’ work getting them back to what I can do.

    If you’re still with me, and I am sorry for the long comment…I would love help. I’m hurting, and I kind of hate collapsing and having to be dragged into the shade by a couple of worried Pit Bulls. But I need the help I need, and not that which is envisioned from afar.

    #1 at FMF this week.

    • Thank you so much for stopping by and taking the time to comment. First of all, let me say I’m sorry that you have a terminal illness. I’m sure that is very difficult to deal with on an every day basis. Second, I totally understand what you are saying – help isn’t really help unless it is actually what that person needs. I guess when I was referring to help, I was thinking more along the lines of helping people get back on their feet. I volunteer at a ministry that has several transitional homes for women in crisis. Some of the women reject the help they are receiving because they don’t want to change anything in their lives, even though it is clear things aren’t working as is. But you bring a good point into this – we often want to help but what we mean is doing what WE think is best and completely ignore what the person we’re supposedly trying to help really needs and wants. Thanks again for stopping by! I hope you’ll visit again, and I will be praying for you.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.