I distinctly remember the day when my oldest son, then about 3 years old, protectively put his arm around his younger 1-yea-old brother, and looked up at me with fear in his eyes. I, you know the person who was supposed to be the adult, was completely out of control. I’m sure if I had had a mirror it would have shown a screaming, red-face, wild-eyed woman who was, well, scary – especially if you were 3 years old.
Seeing my oldest son trying to protect his brother from my anger, I knew things had to change. Honestly, nobody was more stunned than I was that I had an anger problem. If you would have asked people who knew me at the time, they would have described me as easy-going and laid back.
So, imagine my surprise when the very little people who I loved more than life could push every button I never knew I had.
After that realization, I did make the effort to change, but I still messed up and I had to back and apologize so many times. It’s humbling how forgiving a child can be. I had to learn the hard way about the things that triggered that volcanic anger that had the ability to bruise and hurt my children’s hearts.
That’s why I wish I had this book when my kids were little. Written by Amber Lia and Wendy Speake, Triggers: Exchanging Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses is the parenting manual to understanding your own triggers and how to replace them with better, Biblical responses.
** Disclaimer – I did receive a copy of this book to review, but I would never recommend a book if I didn’t find it valuable to my readers.**
This book is a great resource for moms who who want to model Biblical behavior but struggle with controlling their own responses.
I mean, we’ve all been there right? For whatever reason, our child is getting on very last nerve. Triggers addresses both external and internal triggers by highlighting 31 different behaviors and circumstances. These triggers include everything from backtalk and whining (can I get an amen?) to exhaustion and depression.
Each trigger has its own chapter that discusses the triggers and what God has to say about them, and then offers suggestions to help exchange the old, angry response with something that is gentler and more Biblically based. Each chapter ends with a prayer for moms to overcome that first, often angry, response.
While Amber and Wendy offer lots of empathy for overwhelmed moms, they also don’t pull punches about the long-term consequences of out-of-control parenting.
You can purchase this book here as a pdf, Kindle book or paperback. Just so you know, I am an affiliate for this book which means I get a percentage of the purchase price (it doesn’t cost you anything though!).
If we are honest, even though we would probably give our very lives for our children, we’ve all had days when our reactions were anything but loving. But the good news is that we don’t have to live in bondage to just reacting and the fallout of shame and guilt that brings. Triggers: Exchanging Parents’ Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses is a great first step to getting intentional in the way we parent.
Blessings, Rosanne
P.S. Stay tuned for my upcoming series on parenting, a challenge and a giveaway! Sign up to get new posts right in your inbox so you don’t miss out! 🙂