You know that thing – the thing God keeps nudging you about? The thing you sort of push aside or life gets busy and it gets put on the back burner. Or maybe you push it to the back of your mind because you don’t feel accomplished enough or you don’t have the right experience or maybe you have too much of the wrong experience.
Whatever excuse your using to give yourself a pass – just stop it!
I know because I’ve been doing it. Lately, I’ve been restless, restless to do something that matters, that has worth. I look around me and not to sound melodramatic or anything but I kind of feel like I can hear a clock ticking loudly in the background. Maybe it’s as big as world events. Maybe it is as simple as being 41 and realizing that I’m half done if I live a normal life span. Whatever the reason, I yearned for more than the same old same old.
Being a Christian has to be about more than going to church on Sundays.
Whatever the reason for this restless yearning to do more, I’ve been praying about finishing well, about using whatever talents, abilities, gifts for His purposes. So, when he nudged me again to contact a woman I know who runs a home for unwed teenage moms who have nowhere else to go, I emailed her about teaching at the Wednesday night Girl Talks.
I had met this woman through an article I did on her vision for the home, and then another article about the year anniversary of when they opened. I’ve thought about volunteering there before but the timing never seemed right. My schedule would get crazy and I felt overwhelmed, with no extra time to add a weekly obligation to my to do list.
What God has opened my eyes to is how very effective the enemy is in tying me in knots over perceived busyness. I FEEL like I don’t have any time, but when I step back and take a realistic look, I DO have time. My six weeks of full time subbing, while challenging, had the positive benefit of shining a glaring light of how much time I really DO have – time to give away where God directs me to. See, while I congratulated myself on not holding onto my money tightly, I was very stingy with my time. I held it clenched in my fists, unwilling to trust God with my to do list and my time.
It was amazing, how easily the enemy was manipulating me once God helped me to see this constant overwhelmed feeling for what it really was – spiritual warfare.
It was at this point that I finally I decided if God wanted me to do this, I needed to just make the commitment and do it already! Hence the email. After I sent it off to cyberspace, I wondered what in the world I had gotten myself into.
But I was excited. I love to teach the Bible and I love teaching about the women in the Bible because of all the interesting stories. And let’s face it, the Old Testament women were not a boring bunch! I was excited to share the life lessons I had learned by studying these women who lived in a completely different time and culture.
As the time drew closer to my first visit, my excitement drained away and doubt started to replace it though. Who do you think you are? Why would anyone want to listen to you? They’ll think you are some pretentious, self righteous, do-gooder who has no clue about their lives. How can you dare to think you can make any difference with your piddly little lessons?
Even though I recognized the enemy and his whispers fairly quickly, I still was really tempted to call the woman up and make an excuse about why I couldn’t come. After all, the doubts he whispered to me were similar to my own. Maybe I could push it off until next week – like delaying things that are scary make them any less so.
But I knew I needed to go. That Wednesday, it seemed like Girl Talk hung over my head all day. I looked at the clock and knew I only had a few hours until I went. To say I had butterflies in my stomach was an understatement. While I can stand in front of a large group and talk with no problem, one on one is always a crap shoot for me. Sometimes, I click with people and can chat away. Other times, I feel tongue tied and awkward. When I’m nervous, the whole feeling awkward thing just gets worse.
I pulled up to the curb, parked my car and took a really deep breath. I said a little prayer and walked up the sidewalk and knocked on the door.
And you know what? It was awesome! I just went to introduce myself and get to know the young women there that first visit, but I had a really wonderful time. After years of life in church and at Bible studies, it renewed my spirit to see women who were HUNGRY for God, HUNGRY for His Word. Because these women did not just give lip service to needing God – they KNEW their only hope of changing paths was sticking close to Jesus’ side.
I went there hoping to bless someone. I left feeling like I had been given a gift – a gift of seeing God, His Word through fresh eyes. Eyes that saw Jesus as new, exciting and the answer to real problems.
What I feared would be awkward and just weird ended up being a beautiful time of fellowship with sisters in Christ – and sisters that are still seeking what it means to know God and make Him their Savior.
So, that thing that God is nudging you to do? Just do it already because if you do, the blessings you’ll get out of it will far outweigh any benefit you end up giving. God is just cool like that.